Life Lessons

I can’t believe it’s still active….

2009-10-14T14:29:00.000-03:00

Funny how long blogs will stay active with no activity. I haven’t been on here in well over a year yet here I am. Soooo much going on. I went back to school and got a degree in legal and medical executive administration. Great move on my part because now I have a job that I absolutely love!

I’ve taken on a few hobbies in the last year or so. I started getting interested in photography and cake baking. Lol the last two things I thought I would be interested in but I love them.

Of course there is Hayden. Is it really possible to love someone so much? That boy is my world. He just turned three in August. I can’t believe it! I have to register him for kindergarten next year. I know I’m going to cry my face off.

Well that is it for now. I will write more when I get home. Update photos and so on. With Facebook coming in I forgot about my blog. In a way I may enjoy this better. Not so many people to see.

It's been way to long

2008-05-22T20:23:00.004-03:00

My second Mom (Wanda) e-mailed me today and asked what happened to my blog. Well since it's been almost a year since I've posted anything I had no idea it was messed up. So here I am updated it once again. It's amazing how Facebook sucks you in.

If I go on about all the things that have happened in the last year we'd be here all night so I'm going to put them in bullet form.
• I am now going to school taking Legal and Medical Executive Admin.
• Ben and I have a beautiful new nephew named Liam.
• Hayden is going to be two in August even though he’s well ahead for his age. The terrible two are already here.
• I’ve gotten into baking cakes and really enjoy it. I will be doing my first Wedding cake in June.
• OH! Brent and Shawna got married. I know, who knew Brent would find someone to put up with him! (love ya Brent)
• I’m also trying to get into photography. It’s something else I really enjoy.
Well as far as I know that’s it for now. Since Hayden it seems the days go by so fast. I don’t have any time. Or maybe I don’t make enough time. Well time to rush off. I am having surgery in the morning and I have to do two weeks worth of cleaning, packing and laundry!

One Year Already!!!!

2007-08-12T09:00:00.000-03:00

Well yesterday we celebrated Hayden's 1st birthday. One year old on August 8th. Can you imagine! Time sure did fly. It almost went to fast. My baby is growing up. So for his first birthday we had three parties. lol Never again. One was up home with my family and then a little get together with Ben's family. Then finally his birthday party yesterday. Never again! I love him but way to much work.

We had a great time. Over all he got lots and lots of toys. Tons of cloths and so much love. I would start naming off stuff but we would be here all day. You'll see some of the cloths soon. They are perfect for fall pictures!

So I'm back to work. In some ways it's good but I miss being home with Hayden. I just hope I don't miss to much. I haven't been on here in a long time and again Facebook is to blame but I'm going to try and update more often. We are going camping next weekend so I'm sure I will post more then. For now here's a show of Hayden over the past year.....

Long time no blog!

2007-06-20T12:39:00.000-03:00

Yeah it's been a long time I know. Blame it on facebook once again. So everything on the home front is good. My mat leave is almost done and I've decided to stay home with Hayden and watch other kids. At least this way I can raise him myself.

Ben and I finally got a car that is going to last more then six weeks! We are so excited about it. It's going to make out trip up home next so much easier. Really it's going to make our lives so much easier.

Jen and Howie's house is coming along great. Really fast actually. I can't wait I'm so excited for them!

Anyway that is all for now! Toodles Noodles.

Junior Hickey...

2007-05-14T10:36:00.000-03:00

Junior Hickey passed on May 10, 2007 in Moncton of an apparent drug overdose. To some people the whole situation is questionable. To some they've taken it and started to grieve. Either way a good man was lost. It makes it even worst when the whole situation was preventable. RIP Junior I hope you watch over your beautiful daughter.

9 Months Today

2007-05-08T17:45:00.000-03:00

That's right...My baby is now 9 months old. We went to get some pics done yesterday. Nana wanted one with him a seashell. He was so good taking his pictures. It was almost like he was posing. I love the pic of him in the tub. Superstore takes really good pictures and you get them back the next day.

So I've been going for really long walks since the nice weather is here. I'm hoping it burns off some of the pounds that seem to love my ass so much. I'm hoping that the pools will be open soon to so we can take Hayden swimming.

Two more months and I have to go back to work. Uh I hate the thought of leaving Hayden with someone else. I don't trust anyone these days and you really can't. I hope I can find someone good. Maybe I will look into private care at my house.

Well that's all for now. I have to start supper for Ben.

10 Things I love....

2007-05-02T10:19:00.000-03:00

I love my baby boy so much that I thought I would list 10 of the many things I love about him.

10. I love how he thinks everything tastes good if it fits in his mouth.
9. I love his chubby little fingers and toes!
8. I love his little yellow button nose. lol
7. I love the way he dances when Barney comes on.
6. I love the way he puckers his lips when he makes noises.
5. I love his big blue eyes!
4. I love the way he hugs and sucks on his lamb.
3. I love the way he raises his eyebrows when he tastes or sees something new.
2. I love the way he smiles real big when he gets to bounce.
1. I love when he gets excited to see his daddy!

Shoot I ran out of room. I could go on forever and there is still so much more to come.

Other than that lol not much going on. We had a wine, cheese and Jello shooter party here on Sat. It' turned out really great. We had lots of fun and were pretty drunk by the time we all left here. I think Tracy Long got the worst of it. Poor girl. I won't go into detail. lol.

Hayden will soon be 9 months. I'm getting ready to go back to work. I really don't want to but I guess it has to be done. I'm so scared about leaving Hayden with a stranger. I almost wish I was up home so I could stay home with him. Everything is so expensive here that a family can't make it with only one income. Well unless you're rich. So yeah that is my dilemma.

Jen and Howie are getting closer to building their house. I'm so excited for them. I just wish it was over so they wouldn't have to go through the stress. A few more months and they will be in their own home. I wish them all the best!

Hmm what else. Oh um is summer ever going to get here. I was so excited because I could spend some time with Hayden this summer. Well we aren't going to have much time by the looks of it. Ben and I just want a little bit of time to camp with him.

Well I guess that is it for now. I know I haven't been writing lately but like I said before it's facebook's fault.

TaTa for now!

It's Facebooks fault!

2007-04-15T09:43:00.000-03:00

That's right my blog has taken a back seat to the facebook phenomenon. That thing is so addictive. I've spoken with so many people that I've lost touch with. It's also a very easy way to share pictures and just keep people up to date. Anyway I'm finally writing. I've noticed others have been slaking on their blogs also! You know who you are. lol.

So Easter has come and gone. Hayden did really well for gifts. From the Easter Bunny/Us he got stack able rings, two short sets, a roots hat, a shirt and white chocolate. From grandmere he got a pair of slippers and an inflatable crab to float in the water. Then from Nana and Papa he got a ride and go tricycle and two shirts. So I think he did really well for his first Easter.

Ben's parents are back from Hawaii and from the way it sounds it was beautiful. How lucky for them. They came over last night and showed us some pics. I might use one for my next blog template. They brought us back some small gifts. I was happy with my Bath and Body works soap and lotion. Mmmm that stuff smells so good. Both Ben and I also got shirts and Hawaiian chocolate. Can't complain there!

Ben and I are going to start fostering for the SPCA. This way Sieko can have a friend and we don't need to get a permanent pet. They are going to be really busy soon with kitten season coming so it's a good time to start. It's so sad how many animals go without homes.

We are also in the process of looking for a car. When you don't want a new car it's hard to find a used one that is in good shape for a good price. I'm hoping we have one for the beginning of May. That way I can go up home when I want for the summer.

There is so much going on. I'm having a wine, cheese and Jello shooter party for the girls later this month. I can't wait and I think the girls are excited too. I think we are going to have another great time. This time we will be hitting the dance floor. Anyway I'm going to stop now. Weather is going to be great today so I want to get my work done around here then take Hayden for a walk. Take Care Everyone!

Easter = Spring!

2007-04-05T23:03:00.000-03:00

Well Hayden got to see the Easter Bunny the other day. He loved him! Even pulled on his whiskers. I didn't hear what he asked for but I'm sure he will get it. I wanted to get him a swing but my landlord won't let me hang it. Apparently it will make a bad appearance for the buildings. It's a swing people not garbage. Anyway I'm still a little bitter about that if you can't tell.

My poor baby has been sick for at least two weeks. He has missed two swimming lessons but I'm sure to make up for them in baths. My most resent good news is that Hayden got to meet his uncle Tim for the first time last weekend. We traveled to Moncton just to see him. I was glad since I haven't seen him or Grant in over six years. Way to long if you ask me. We all plan on seeing each other more in the future. We didn't have a choice before but now I guess everyone is old enough to run their own lives and other people can go F*** themselves. Uh that feels good I wish I could say it to her face. It's a shame to love someone and have someone dictate if you can see them or not. I will never do that to Hayden.

Nothing else really new. Ben's parents are enjoying Easter in Hawaii right now. I hope they have a good time but I'm still sooooo jealous. Ben and I are going to help with the final stages of our wine tomorrow. MMMMM I can't wait. Melissa, Ben's parents, Ben and I all bought a kit so we will be splitting three kinds. It's going to be a great summer. Well that is all for now. I will post again after the Easter Bunny visits Hayden this weekend. Have a good Easter everyone!

Best shot ever!

2007-03-27T16:04:00.000-03:00

This was the best shot taken during girls weekend I would say. Poor Lisa I think by the looks of it the Devil took me over.

8 times needed....

2007-03-26T09:32:00.000-03:00

Friday came and I along with 7 other very lucky ladies were so excited to get the weekend started. I was a little busy because I had to pack, get ready and still manage to make a batch of cinnamon rolls for Ben's friends. Oh and did I mention they need an hour and forty five minutes to rise alone. I must love Ben. Anyway I manged to get everything done and still have time to pace back and forth waiting for three of the girls to get here....

Going down in the first car was Tracy Long, Julie Stewart, Marissa King and myself. What a drive to Doaktown it was. I'm sure drivers on route 8, Friday afternoon thought there were a bunch of crazies in our car. We tried to get Marissa to pee behind a church. Let's just say I think she was willing to pee herself. After almost laughing ourselves into a ditch we finally made it to Doaktown. Next was groceries. Piling back in with all of our groceries, booze and luggage we finally made it to the cabin. Was it ever beautiful. The smell of the wood and the fire going. I relaxed the second we walked in.

The other two cars got there shortly after. Jen Agnew, Heather Gorman, Tracy Goguen and Lisa McGee were the other 4. A friend of Jen's, Sherri stopped in for a bit too. From this point on I was amazed by the whole weekend. Everyone picked their rooms with no issues, we got things packed away and it began. 8 women, some who know each other and some who have never met began drinking their faces off. Some were also indulging in the herbal smoke as well. Now in most situations this would be a recipe for disaster. Women can be terrible locked in one place together for to long. lol We did it for a whole weekend and we did a damn good job. I think most of us were drunk within an hour. It didn't take long for the camera's, video and Karaoke machine to be taken out. There were so many good laughs that first night I wouldn't even know where to start. Pants were swiped, songs were sang, poses were held and it was hilarious.

The next morning started with breakfast and cleaning. Slowly we got showered and stated drinking again. The thing I loved most about this weekend is there was no schedule. We did what we wanted, drank, read, got a sun tan! Whatever our hearts desired and it was wonderful. Tracy, Marissa and I headed to the liquor store and on our way back saw the most amazing thing. We pulled on the side of the road in front of some one's house. In the yard, 20 feet away from us were 20 or more deer. Apparently every spring a herd of deer cross the same path. I couldn't believe that this many wild deer would stay so close to a neighborhood of houses. They were just hanging out. It was beautiful. The second night also turned out with more good laughs. We were all so relaxed we could barely move. It also could have been the seven packages of Jello shooters Julie made for us!

I would recommend doing this for anyone. I don't think anyone of us didn't have a smile on all weekend. The only time it got bad was when we had to leave. The eight of us all needed this for some reason or another. I almost want to go back. O'Donnell's Cottages were amazing. The view and weather were spectacular and the women were also amazing. The best part of my weekend came when I got home. I arrived to my beautiful son and Ben had 24 roses waiting for me. lol He must have realized just how great I am :) It was amazing. Thank you ladies for such a good time. I will put some photos up on my facebook. Tata for now.

Spring is Here!

2007-03-21T12:46:00.000-03:00

Yes that is right, the first day of spring has arrived. I couldn't be any happier. Soon Hayden and I will be able to go for walks without freezing to death.

So what is new...Well Jen and Howie no longer have a car. Coming home from work they were in a four car accident. Thank goodness everyone was alright. They are both stiff but in good working order. That is a very good thing since it's girl's weekend this weekend! Only two more days I'm so excited. We now have 10 girls going. We are ready to party. I just hope we don't drink ourselves lifeless.

Hayden is now walking all directions in his walker. He just needs to stop growing! He loves swimming and really does a good job. He actually kicks and moves his arms. Well that is all for now. I'm getting a brain fart so it's time to stop. Going to go make some chicken soup. mmmmm

2007-03-17T14:22:00.000-03:00

A St. Patrick's Day Blessing for you

May your life be long
May your heart be true
May your path be clear
and your skies be blue

May your soul be happy
and your spirit light
May you know deep joy
May your dreams take flight

May God bless you
Today and always

I thought I’ve had nightmares, until last night…

2007-03-17T00:14:00.000-03:00

Have you ever had a dream and you wake up and think man why can’t I remember that. Or think that was really scary. Well last night I had a dream that I never want to dream again. I woke up this morning feeling the pain that I wouldn’t want any mother to feel and it wasn’t even real.

I get upset just thinking about it but I think that maybe it will go away if I talk about it.

My dream started with me walking to Hayden’s room. It was so real. I thought he had been sleeping longer then usual. I walked and started his morning bottle because he gets cranky if it’s not ready for him. Lol So after getting it started I opened his bedroom door. Every morning I can see him stirring from the door. Not this time. I found it odd that he didn’t wake up. So I went over and tried to wake him. Just a little tickle so I wouldn’t scare him. He never woke up. I was giving him CPR next, screaming.

The next thing in my dream was me carrying him to his coffin to put him to bed for the last time. It was white and he was so quiet……

I guess that was all I could handle because I woke up crying. I never ever in my life want to go through what I had to dream about last night. I didn’t wake Ben because it was a stupid dream right. God help anyone out there that has to loose a child. My heart goes out to them. I love my baby..

It's been a while..

2007-03-14T12:24:00.000-03:00

Well I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy I guess. If you can call my life busy. Hayden is still enjoying swimming. He likes the hot tub so much more then the cold pool. Who can blame him? I found a great website for Moms in Fredericton. I plan on attending some of the play groups and activities in town with him. It's getting nicer and I can't wait to get out.

Melissa and I went and each bought a wine kit the other day. We will be splitting them so we have lots of tasty wine for the summer. Ben and I will be going to her place Friday to start making them. It will be our first batch. Anyone who wants to come chill with a glass a wine come on over. Anyway she got Peach Apricot Chardonnay and I got Kiwi-Pear Sauvignon Blanc. I think it's going to be a good summer!

Girls weekend is fast approaching and there are more girls coming! There are now 9 possibly 11. I'm glad we booked the big cabin. It's going to be great. We are getting together this Thursday to put last minute details together.

I just got a phone call from my Mom. I little notice to everyone if you're from the Lorne area. Stay away! I guess the flu from hell has hit and hit hard. She was planning on coming down but can't because they are all sick. Good luck to all of you!

Here is a pic I took of Hayden the other day in his walker. My little guy is getting so big!

Good News!

2007-03-06T18:24:00.000-04:00

So I've been keeping an eye out for Whimbly at the SPCA. They put her up for adoption with the new name Eurika! Well I'm happy to say that this past week she was adopted. I hope she enjoys her new home and behaves. I'll be praying that she uses the litter box.

Swimming starts tomorrow!

2007-03-04T23:16:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited because I signed Hayden up for little tots swimming. He loves the water and I think he is really going to enjoy this. It's funny because no one but Hayden would get me in a bathing suite right now. I'm willing to do it just to see him swim. He also got a walker today on loan from his new cousin. He is still getting used to it but as soon as he realizes he can move around I think he is going to be very happy.

My trip up home went well. Hayden had a great time. We were tight for time to see everyone but we did a good round. Still some people I would have liked to seen. Hayden got some late Christmas gifts.

Only 23 more days until girls weekend! I can't wait. We are going to rock that little town until the sun comes up. Getting away is fun when you don't have a baby and a boyfriend.

Ok one last thing. Ben's parent's 30th wedding anniversary is coming up. Ben's Dad has always bought really nice things for Wanda. He treats her good. So today she says her anniversary gift is a trip to Hawaii! Yeah like hello! I hope Ben follows his Dad's teachings!

Happy Anniversary Hun!

2007-02-22T23:04:00.000-04:00

Five years have passed since I asked Ben out on a date. I asked him at work if he wanted to go to a party. The party of course was for Jennifer's Birthday. Of course being Ben he was up for it. Back then Ben was up for any party. Little did I know that Ben liked to drink....a lot. He showed up with a 40 of rum. lol He can't do that now.

Anyway so we decided to have a few drinks before hand. Well I think I had to many. Don't get me wrong I could handle just as much as Ben back then. It's not good however to drink when you are morning the loss of your father. After a few drinks I took out the photo albums and got so emotional I cried for the better part of the night. Ben was so understanding. He just sat there and listened. We didn't even make it to the party. (Sorry Jen) I always say my Dad sent him to me because that night and ever since, he does things for me that remind me of my Dad. He was great.

The next morning I woke up and realized that this was a good guy. If he can listen to me cry my head off like an idiot. Not only that he didn't try to take advantage of me! I got up and said ok you have to do something fast. So I cooked him an awesome steak and egg breakfast. Five years later food is still the key to his heart!

Well it's been a great five years with ups and downs but here we are. Ben and I have been through a lot of shit in five years. lol Almost record breaking shit. I can't wait to go through more shit with him. I love you Ben!

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER!

Ash Wednesday.....

2007-02-21T10:08:00.000-04:00

Today is Ash Wednesday the day of fasting (meat),repentance and the beginning of Lent. I don't know why but lately I just don't see any need in the strict rituals of Catholic faith. Maybe it's because lately my faith has been dwindling. I grew up in a very Catholic family who follows the religion. No meat on Fridays etc. So I guess my question is do I just forget it and eat what I want or do I go talk to a priest? The Catholic religion contradicts itself so much that I have trouble believing sometimes. I believe there is a higher power who I choose to call God. If God is so good I don't understand why you should have to ask forgiveness from a priest or attend service every Sunday. As long as you do good, have faith and ask his forgiveness this should be ok. I guess that is what I believe. So am I going to hell for this? If so then I guess God isn't that forgiving....

What do you think?

So Tiny....

2007-02-19T11:41:00.000-04:00

We went to Ben's parents last night for a family dinner and to meet baby Liam. He is so tiny. I can't get over it. Very cute. It was a good time. It seems so different having three boys in the house. So I wonder if they will ever have a grand daughter. Only time will tell. I made a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake for the dinner. It turned out really good. Unfortunately I have to much left. So if you want some come on by.

Saturday was Jennifer's birthday party. It went really well. Everyone had a great time and we ended up staying in. A few went to the bars but most stayed. Judging by the pics everyone had a good time. If you want to see them you can go to my facebook profile. I hate posting pics twice.

Now on to a comment that was made about my last post. I don't know who made the comment but if you know me then you would know I tried everything. I would also hope that if you do know me you would feel you could come to me if you had a problem with what I was doing. If you don't know me then I would keep your comments to yourself when you don't know everything about the situation. I have a son to think about and right now he is my one concern!

Welcome Liam!

2007-02-15T09:58:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I updated. So much has been going on. I hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day. We had a good one here. There is now a new little guy added to the family.

Liam Michael Scott McCullem (I think that's how you spell the last name) Anyway he was born at 12:15 am on Valentine's day. So Hayden has a new cousin! He's just a little guy weighing in at 5lbs 15oz. For some reason I can't load pictures so I will add them later.

Now on to my cutie! Hayden was 6 months on the 8th. Still can't get over how fast time has been going by. He went to the doctor on Tuesday and got three needles. The poor guy hasn't been the same since. Sneezing, coughing not sleeping good. I feel so bad for him. He weighs 21lbs and is 28" long. He's getting to be a very big boy. His cousin Sarah will be babysitting him for the first time Saturday. I'm nervous but I have to get over it! Sarah is great.

So on to Saturday. It's Jennifer's Birthday Party! Still thinking about what the heck I'm going to buy her. She has so much already. I'm glad her party isn't on her birthday this year because it's also our 5 year anniversary. Yup that's right Ben and I got together on Jen's birthday. Great timing on my part! Anyway just can't wait for Saturday.

Now on to the sad part of my post. Whimbley must go. I love her to death and she is a great cat but she has issues. The major one being she decides day by day if she's going to use her litter box or just go where ever she wants. Sometimes she goes two inches from her littler box! We've tried everything to help her. Her own litter box, different litters, her own litter room etc. etc. etc. Now it's time for her to go. I feel bad because the SPCA said that if I take her back they will put her to sleep because of her "issues" so I'm going to try and trick them by having someone say they found her. I hope it works.

Why Moms don't give little boys dolls.....

2007-02-07T23:21:00.000-04:00

So Funny!
Why_Moms_dont_give_little_boys_dolls.wmv

Simply Delicious

2007-02-05T15:02:00.000-04:00

What is simply delicious you ask? Well a Simply Delicious bar of course. Ben and I bought some of these from a co-worker of mine in Ont. Her child was selling them for school. Unfortunately it's the only way you can buy them. The company only sells them for fundraisers. Now I had given up on ever having one of these again when I moved back to NB. That is until.....Melissa said she bought some. So I need to know Melissa, where did you get the bars? Some of you might think I'm nuts. It's only a chocolate bar right. No it's not this is sex in bar form. If you have a chance to try one of these DO IT. For now I keep looking.

Uh now if I can stop drooling. Things went good this weekend. Ben and I had people over on Saturday for a party. It turned out good. The night was crazy actually. So many people that were way to drunk. It didn't help that one of our friends basically picked up the tab all night. Thanks Tod! I got to meet three of Tracy's friends from NS and they were exactly how she described them...nasty. lol No they were very nice. I hope they had a good time. Hayden stayed with Ben's parents and it went well. This is a big step because for the longest time Hayden didn't really care for his Nana. Not any more he really loves her. Well I guess that is about all I can think about right now. I wish I had pics but my battery went dead.

One thing I do want to mention is my fellow bloggers. Where are you? I think Melissa is the only one that updates her blog. Maybe it's because I have more time on my hands but I would like to know how you guys are. Anyway I'll be watching. Please keep me entertained.

I'm greatful for Booze, Blues and Bubbles...

2007-01-31T23:47:00.000-04:00

Yes thank you for Bubble baths, Blues music and Wine. I am so relaxed right now (more to do with the wine I'm sure). I'm telling you if you have a bad day, light some candles, play some good blues and have a drink then soak in your favorite bath soaps. You will be a completely new person when you come out of that bathroom.

Uh anyway the reason for the bubble bath is because Hayden has been very cranky today. It has so much to do with teething and he has a cough and sneeze AGAIN! I don't get it. I don't take the child anywhere. Maybe I have to ban visitors. So I don't actually know if it's a cold or flu this time. He is sneezing more so I'm wondering if it's allergies. Needles to say he was cranky and it was a long day.

My hair turned out good by the way. Just a little difference in the roots but nothing to bad. It was really bad I wish I could have shown you. Ben just got done working 9 days in a row. Poor guy in so tired. I'm glad I have a man that works to help his family and isn't lazy. Ben would say "I can't wait until I come home and Hayden is excited to see me". Wow he doesn't have to wait. Hayden knows when dad is home. It's crazy he starts kicking and smiling as soon as he hears Ben's voice. It's really cute.

Sorry about going on but I guess if you're still reading you don't mind. Lisa and Jen came over the other night for some drinks. Just the girls. Well it turned out interesting. A couple of drinks ended up in all sorts of things coming out. It was all good. Well except for Lisa...lol her and the toilette hooked up at the end of the night. lol Sorry Lisa. Good times I'm sure I will have one soon.

I'm going to put a song on here by two very good Blue's artists. John Lee Hooker and Bonnie Raitt. lol It's called I'm in the mood. Sorry Ben just for Bed, maybe later. lol Next time I should talk about the excuses women give not to have sex. Oh you might like sex but you know we use some crazy excuses! Until next time....

Talk about bad hair days!!!!

2007-01-27T00:18:00.000-04:00

OK....So Jen, Tracy and I go out for supper then to Tracy's. Well Tracy and I think it would be a good idea to die our hair. WRONG! Tracy's came out good but mine, not so much. My roots were lighter then the rest of my hair. So silly me thinks that if a put a lighter color in it will dye it all the same color. WRONG! My roots came out red and the rest lightened very little.

Next day.....
So I buy another dye. A dark one this time. Thinking it would make it all a darker color. WRONG! AGAIN! So by this point my head is sore and I'm fed up. So to Shoppers I go to get some Blondisma. Yes that's right. After hours of bleaching and a re-dying I think I'm good. lol My head needs serious conditioning but we'll see. I haven't dried it yet but it looks better then the first two times. I hope everything is good because I have to go to my sister-in laws baby shower tomorrow at 10 am. So no time for fixing. Uh anyway I will let you know how it goes...

Nothing new so lets do a survey!!!!

2007-01-24T22:39:00.000-04:00

LAST PERSON WHO
1. Slept in a bed beside you? Ben
2. Saw you cry: Ben
3. Went to the movies with you? Ben
4. You went to the mall with? Ben
5. You went to dinner with? Ben, Jen, Howie, Julie, Lisa, Jen, Colin, Amy & Tracy
6. You talked on the phone? Jen
7. Said 'I love you' to you and really meant it? Ben & Hayden
8. Broke your heart? Kenzie (not romantically)
9. Made you laugh? Hayden

WOULD YOU RATHER?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Done both but I think the tongue went better.
2. Be serious or be funny? OH So funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk ? 1% hey at least I go half way
4. Die in a fire or drown? Drown I'd rather pass out then have all that pain
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Enemies

ARE YOU..
1. Simple or complicated? Complicated
2. Gay? No.
3. Hardcore? Nope.

DO YOU PREFER. .
1. Flowers or candy? Flowers
2. Grey or black? Black.
3. Color or Black and white photos? Nice bright colors
4. Lust or love? Lust is more exciting but love is safe
5. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset
6. M&Ms or Skittles? Skittles
8. Staying up late or waking up early? late

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY !!
1. Do you like anyone? Ben
2. Do they know it? Well I sure hope so

DO YOU PREFER...
1. Sun or moon? Moon
2. Winter or Fall? Fall
3. Left or right? Right
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? two best friends.
5. Sun or rain? Sun.
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolate
7. Vodka or Jack? Vodka

ABOUT YOU!
1. What time is it? 10:44 what does this question have to do with anything?
2. Name? Amanda Mary Doucette
3. Nickname(s):
4. Where were you born? Dalhousie
5. What is your birthdate? 01/08/80
6. What do you want ? Lottery pleas
7. Where do you want to live? Here.
8. How many kids do you want? two now four is I get that lottery
9. What would you want to name a girl? My secret
10. What would you want to name a boy? Well Hayden was hard enough to pick out
11. You want to get married? Yeah and still waiting BENJAMIN!

UNIQUE!
1. Nervous Habits: I get dizzy
2. Are you double jointed? Nope.
3. Can you roll your tongue? Kinda
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? Yup
5. Can you cross your eyes? Yes.
6. Do you make your bed daily? NO
7. Which shoe goes on first? Hmmm let me get back to you on that one
8. Ever thrown one at someone? lol kicked one at Ben once
9. On the average, how much money do you carry on you? Nothing and that is bad Debit is bad
10. What jewelry do you wear? earrings.

OTHER
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl
2. Have you ever eaten Spam? Yes I am from Lorne
3. Favorite ice cream: oh wow I love ice cream um....PC's extreme brownie
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? 2 special k and maple nut
5. What's your favorite beverage? Ice tea
7. Do you cook? I love to cook

IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU? (YES OR NO)
1. Had a b/f or g/f? Yes.
2. Bought something you didn't need: Yes.
4. Sang in front of people: Heck no
5. Been kissed: Yes.
6. Been hugged: Yes.
7. Felt stupid? Yes.
9. Got drunk: Yes.
10. Got high: Oh, Yes.
11. Danced Crazy: Yup.
12. Gotten your hair cut? No.
13. Cried: Yes.
14. Lied: No I don't think so

Photos of Hayden

2007-01-21T17:20:00.000-04:00

Nothing new to update. Just wanted to post some recent photos of Hayden.

Snow, Snow & more Snow

2007-01-19T22:24:00.000-04:00

Fredericton got so much snow in the last 24 hours. Well it's about time! I don't really like snow but who wants a winter without a little. I wish I had a snowmobile right now. I wanted to take Hayden out to play in it but where he is getting over a cold I don't want to chance anything. So maybe in a few days.

Not much news in my exciting life. Ben has five days off. lol the question is can I handle it. It's nice to spend time together. Jennifer found out that she is going to be an aunt again. Scotty and Tina Agnew are due in August. Congrats to them and I wish them all the best. I think they are going to have a gorgeous baby. Jen's life is really exciting right now. She and Howie just celebrated their 3rd anniversary the other day. Don't ask me the date it's a complicated story. The best thing is they are building a house this year. I wish them all the best. They are two amazing people who deserve everything good they get. Uh almost cried there, lol almost Jen!

I'm going to get sappy again here because lately that's all I do. I am so happy because of the people that surround me. I may not have had the best life. Ok so my childhood was scaring but I am so fortunate. Ben and I have some real tough times but it's nothing we can't work out. I have a great family, and friends I wouldn't trade for the world. lol I'm even starting to like my sworn enemies. Well maybe I'll see on that one. I wasn't always like this. I used to be bitter and really didn't care if I died. Then I met Ben and now we have Hayden. I realized that no matter how bad it is for me there are so many more people out there that have it worse. Tonight I'm grateful and I pray that those less fortunate at least have love to get them through.

Well enough sappiness below is a very funny video. I do have to warn you this is not for kids or if you don't like naked people.

Getting so big so fast.....

2007-01-17T23:26:00.000-04:00

Hayden is almost six months old! Oh my life is flashing before me. Really life flies after you have kids. He is now 27 3/4" and a little over 20lbs. He just amazes me every day. Well enough bragging about my child. lol

I want to say a very Happy Birthday to Meagan. Another kid that is now a young women. A young women stuck with Minto boys! They best watch themselves! Happy Birthday Meagy Doo!

Well the list is done for who is coming on the girls weekend and the cabin is getting booked. I can't wait I really need to get away for this thing. The cabin is really nice. Looks like we will enjoy it. Especially the two bathrooms!

Oh and the most exciting news for me this week was getting in touch with an old friend. Well she found me. I worked with Jenny at UPS in Moncton and we hit it off really good. There aren't to many girls I can stand but she was one. lol Anyway haven't talked to her in like 4 years. She has a two year old girl now named Grace and is getting married this August. I don't care I'm crashing the wedding! Bathurst watch out! Anyway I'm leaving you with a pic of this little doll to make you smile!

Day three and no relief in site.

2007-01-15T00:03:00.000-04:00

That's right Hayden has been sick for three days. I've asked nurses, doctors and family and they all say don't bother taking him to the doctor because they won't do anything. Well guess what? I can't watch him be sick anymore. He is so pitiful when he coughs. So if he wakes up tomorrow and is as bad as he was today I am getting into the doctor. I'm sorry I just can't sit and do nothing. Am I a worry wort? What exactly is a worry wort anyway?

Jen and Howie came over for supper tonight. Nothing fancy just a lazy Sunday meal. We didn't really do much either. Not much excitement lately. The date for the girls weekend away has been set. March 23 to the 25th. I'm so excited. There girls that are going are all really great and I think it's going to be a blast. The only person I would like to have there that can't be there is Chandra. We miss you so much Chandra. Please dump Wade and come back home!!!!! Yeah right uh. Chandra is funny, crazy, smart, caring, everything good that a person could be. Chandra you're a sexy bitch. (In a non-sexual way of course) lol Uh we need to go out when you come home.

In 2006.....

2007-01-12T09:35:00.000-04:00

2006 in Review

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
I had a baby.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I started to. I was going to the gym getting fit then I got pregnant.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not really lots of people expecting.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes my uncle. Miss him much.

5. What countries did you visit?
Just this one.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Money, a home, a CAR!

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Hayden’s birthday of course. August 8, 2006.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Giving birth for sure.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My career.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Other then hormonal psychosis, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Hmmm don’t know.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Ben, Jen and Howie for putting up with me during pregnancy.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Hmmm I can’t name names.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Hayden and Xmas of course.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My baby boy once again.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Waiting on the world to change…John Mayer

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?
Happier, Fatter, Richer in life....wow that sounds good, lol.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Camping, saving money.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Spend money.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Who knows?

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
I've been in love since 2002 but found a sense of greater love for him!

23. How many one-night stands?
Zero.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Desperate Housewives, Survivor, CSI.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

26. What was the best book you read?
Wow who knows?

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
None come to mind.

28. What did you want and get?
My life back together (Somewhat)

29. What did you want and not get?
A good car! We got a lemon that died six weeks later.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
No Idea.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 26, went out to mama’s then had a party. Couldn’t drink I was pregnant.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Winning the lotto, lol.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Hahaha me and fashion ya right.

34. What kept you sane?
Ben! Thanks hun luv ya.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Um Oprah.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The damn useless war.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Tracy Long. Really nice girl. Wait did I meet her in 2006 or 2005?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
Love life as it is because it’s the only one I got.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Ive been down this road walkin the line
Thats painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just cant hide

Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now Im ready to sing

What can I say.....

2007-01-11T23:19:00.000-04:00

Nothing really. That is how exciting my life is lol. I've been a little sick last couple of days. Flu or something. Brent, Heather and Julie came over for a visit tonight. We ended up playing scene it. I don't know why we bother because Julie and Brent know every actor, actress what movie they were in and how many times they wipe their ass! Don't ya Julie, yah I know your reading this! :)

So Jen and I have been planning a girls weekend away. I called around today and found a camp to rent in Daoktown on the river. Looks like we are going at the end of march. There should be between 7-10 of us. Uh I can't wait it's going to be so much fun. Brent was hoping to hear that there would be some action, but sorry Brent I think we can control ourselves! I write really long sentences, don't I? Anyway that is about it in the great life of Amanda. I hope you like my song choice. It's for the big weekend. Oh and below is a cute pic of Hayden from my birthday. I don't know why but so many people get photos of their babies with beer. Crappy beer in this case but beer.

Welcome Home

2007-01-09T15:44:00.000-04:00

I just got back home with the newest member of our family. Here is a photo of Wimbley I will post more of her later when she's not so scared.

And they say adults are smarter then children....

2007-01-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

I saw this boy on Oprah once and I was so amazed and sad at the same time. His name is Mattie Stepanek. He had a rare disease and wasn't expected to live as long as he did. He passed in 2004. Anyway this child was amazing you should read some of his work. I think this is one of the best....

We need to stop.
Just stop.
Stop for a moment…
Before anybody
Says or does anything
That may hurt anyone else.
We need to be silent.
Just silent.
Silent for a moment…
Before we forever lose
The blessing of songs
That grow in our hearts.
We need to notice.
Just notice.
Notice for a moment…
Before the future slips away
Into ashes and dust of humility.
Stop, be silent, and notice…
In so many ways, we are the same.
Our differences are unique treasures.
We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts
To nurture, to offer, to accept.
We need to be.
Just be.
Be for a moment… Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting,
Like children and lambs,
Never judging or vengeful
Like the judging and vengeful.
And now, let us pray,
Differently, yet together,
Before there is no earth, no life,
No chance for peace.

September 12, 2001
© Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek

Birthday Supper

2007-01-09T09:49:00.000-04:00

I wasn't going to go out for my birthday but I did. It wasn't anything big just a few friends. We went to Isaac's Way for supper. I love that place. I never seem to be disappointed. Anyway I had a good time. Yesterday was by far one of my best birthdays. It wasn't big but it was the people around me that made it good. I also heard from two people that I haven't spoken to in way to long. It made me feel good. Thanks everyone.

Best Birthday Present Ever!

2007-01-08T09:55:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up feeling older. lol That was about it. Then my beautiful little boy gave me a birthday card. It was nothing big a birthday card and a scratch ticket but it was from him. Of course I started to cry and hug and kiss him. lol How stupid is that but he is the best birthday gift ever.

So we pick up Wimbley tomorrow and I'm so excited. Not really that I'm getting a cat but more that I'm giving her a home. I felt so bad for those animals caged up. If I was rich I would go broke saving animals.

Today is my biological fathers birthday too. I wonder if he thinks of me today or even of Hayden. I don't so much care anymore I just wish he would have the BALLS to see his own grandson. Oh well it's his loss because he has missed out on his daughter's life and now his beautiful grandson. God I love that kid! lol

My Birthday Gift from Ben.....

2007-01-06T23:05:00.000-04:00

So only two days from my birthday and Ben gave me my gift today. We went to the SPCA and adopted a cat. We can only get her on Tuesday but I'm so excited. Seiko has wanted so much attention since we lost Chloe so I think it will be good for Him. I've decided to name her Wimbley. I decided to get an adult cat because everyone adopts the kittens. Anyway that's about it. I will post pics of her on Tuesday.

Another Year Gone.....

2007-01-01T14:08:00.000-04:00

Last night Ben and I went to Dave and Amy Watt's. They did a great job at hosting a New Years party. I am glad we got to go. They made sure everyone was well fed and liquored up for the not one, but two countdowns. (lol don't ask) I put together a little movie of the photos I snapped. There is also pics Julie took.

So many things have happened this year. I have so many good memories. Many of my friends got married, bought houses and got engaged. Friends have left and some have come back. Of course the biggest thing for Ben & I is our beautiful baby Hayden. We've lost love ones of course and they will be in our hearts. I had a great year and it's all thanks to all of you. I know this is sappy but thank you!

NewYears0607.wmv

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

2006-12-28T17:58:00.000-04:00

OK ladies I'm about to describe how I'm feeling right now and I know it happens to you all! Anything that moves, makes noise or even breaths pisses me off right now. I feel crappy, pissy, moody and just plane hateful. So hateful in fact that I am pissed off at myself. Why?, you ask. Well you know the answer. See we know that we are pissed off at absolutely nothing. So my question again. What the hell is wrong with me?
I even asked Ben if he and Hayden could leave today so I could cool down. lol He said no...but he did take care of Hayden all day so I could have a break. That took me down to 75% pissed off. Now that I'm writing about it I'm slowly getting better. I know that all women get like this because I've witnessed some of the nicest women turn and it's not pretty. So what do we do? Who knows.

Amazing Christmas!

2006-12-26T22:54:00.000-04:00

I think this was my first good Christmas in so long. Well they have been getting better since I met Ben. I love that man so much. Hayden wasn't really into it this year but he sure does love one of his gifts. I got him a Jolly Jumper and he loves it! He squealed the first time he used it. It was so funny. I put a short video of him below. It's not the best quality because it's from my camera.
We all got great gifts. Thank you to everyone. Hayden got some really cute clothes. I spoiled Ben yet again. I got him a nice fishing rod. Supposedly indestructible from but to tip. I give Ben a day with it lol. I gave him so much more. I was treated well also.
Here is the big miracle of the holidays. It' 11:02 on December 26th and my tree is out, decoration down and put away and house cleaned from top to bottom. You should have seen me today I was a mad women cleaning. I did it so Ben and I can relax and just spend the next couple days enjoying each other and our friends. Well I guess that's all for now. Next party is January for my birthday.

In Loving Memory....

2006-12-23T17:21:00.000-04:00

Mr. Celestin Hickey
My uncle passed this afternoon. We all knew it was coming and he's no longer suffering but it just doesn't make it any easier. I guess all I can do now is pray for my aunt and the family. It's funny over the last couple of years I've been questioning my faith. I don't really know what to believe. When my dad passed we picked this poem for his memorial card and it seems to make me feel a little better.

For every burden that we bear,
For every sorrow, every care,
There's a reason
For every grief that bows the head,
For every tear-drop that is shed,
There's a reason
For every hurt, for every plight,
For every lonely pain racked night,
There's a reason
But if we trust God as we should,
All must work out for our good,
He knows the reason.

He was a good man with a big heart. I going to miss you and love you monocle.

Great Gift Basket

2006-12-22T09:35:00.000-04:00

Well I had to get a gift for a mutual friend of Ben and I. I had no idea what to get her because I've only started to know her recently. So my brain went to work and this is what I came up with. I took a recipe for a pomegranate martini printed it out and got all the stuff she would need for it. Added a candle and put in a basket. I liked it so much she almost didn't get it. I even stuck a blind fold in there that said "I've been naughty". After a couple martini's she just might need it. Well here it is. I think I might try to do that for more gifts.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL

2006-12-22T09:27:00.000-04:00

Well this is going to be my Christmas Card to you all. I wish you all the best over the holidays and I hope Santa finds you all. I'm so excited for Christmas this year not for gifts but because I think this is the best one I have ever had. I'm thinking of you all and send my love to the family and my friends. If for some reason you need some lovin and hugs for the Holidays my doors are always open. I might not have much but I sure can cook a good meal and give you some hot chocolate!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Love,

Amanda, Hayden & Ben

I need help from all the mothers out there....

2006-12-19T15:21:00.000-04:00

Hayden is teething right now and I feel so bad for him. I have tried all sorts of tricks and meds and I just can't seem to help him. I feel so bad because he doesn't even cry it's just moans of pain. So if anyone knows anything I can do please let me know.

On another note I was watching Ellen today and she had the evolution of dance guy on there. I love this video and what he does. So if you haven't seen it...here it is. It's so funny.

MMMMM Sugar Cookies

2006-12-18T11:02:00.000-04:00

Jen and Howie came over last night. Howie was recovering from his Christmas party and man was he sick lol. So I made some chili and we hung out. After supper Jen and I made sugar cookies and the guys helped decorate. They have more of pastel icing then Christmas but they still taste so good. We had fun like the kids we are.

It's only a week until Christmas! I'm getting excited but not for my own gifts I like to see people open theirs. I really like watching Ben. I get so much joy out of giving him things. Well I'm not going to blab for long I have a huge mess to clean in this place.

Oh and today would have been my Dad's birthday. I miss him so much. I wish he could have seen Hayden. Anyway Happy Birthday Dad. I love you!

Almost done....

2006-12-15T17:17:00.000-04:00

Christmas shopping that is. I only have one more gift to buy for Ben and a couple of stocking stuffers. Oh and I have to figure out what to get my mother. Other then that I think we're good. I'm sure we will think of more people to buy for after we are done but I hope not. lol Not that I don't like giving it just gets so costly.

Hayden went to the doctor today to get a needle but he got out of it. Turns out he has a little bit of a could. So no going out for the next little while and lots of love. I did find out he weighs 18 1/2 lbs. I can't believe he is that big! Well thats all in my life. If you read this and have a blog please update it! I go check every one's blog and guess what nothing new.

Hayden is so cute!

2006-12-14T23:06:00.000-04:00

I know every mom says this but Hayden is just so cute. We went Christmas shopping to day and took him to see Santa. I thought for sure he would cry. Hayden loved him. He was laughing and playing with his gloves. It turned out to be such a good picture. Now I only have a few more gifts to get.

Back Home

2006-12-13T10:21:00.000-04:00

Well I got back home two days ago. It was a long trip but I thin both Hayden and I are glad to be back home. My uncle is still in the hospital and the doctor says he won't be going home. He is in really good spirits. He tries to make it easier on everyone and he is doing a great job. I'm so proud of him. I know if I were dying of cancer I wouldn't be as good as him. So it's just a matter of time now. The family is doing everything they can to make him feel comfortable. The brought his dog to visit and I don't know who was more excited him or the dog! They are asking to take him home long enough for him to see his house one last time. I love him and pray for him everyday.

Hayden got spoiled of course. Grandmere Doucet bought him lots of gifts and he got lots of money. The big gift you will see below. It's from and anonymous donor. I think that was the first and last time I will ever see one of those. lol Anyway I went xmas shopping yesterday and I had the hardest time finding this one gift. I can't say what it is (Sorry Jen) because someone reads my blog. I didn't think this was so popular but I guess so. We still have a bit more to get but then we are done. Now I just need to get cooking.

Just one last thing. Being home and seeing my family pull together for my uncle made me realize how lucky I am. I am so grateful for all my family, friends and most of all Ben and Hayden. I love all you guys and if I died tomorrow you guys made it worth wild.

Sometimes I'd rather be cold hearted.

2006-12-07T02:10:00.000-04:00

That's how I feel tonight. It's 2:13 in the morning and I can't sleep because I have to leave early tomorrow and go say goodbye to my uncle. I lay in bed thinking that if I were in his situation I wouldn't want to sleep because I would be to scared not to wake up. I think about my aunt who's sitting there wondering if she is going to have one more day with the man she loves. I can't imagine how that feels.

It wasn't that long ago that he was diagnosed with cancer and now he's losing his battle. In days I will be at his funeral and tomorrow I have to face him knowing that. When you love someone that is the hardest thing you have to do. I hate it. My heart is breaking. I pray but it's to late. Makes me wonder if any one is really listening....

Truffles for my honey...

2006-12-05T01:04:00.000-04:00

Ben has a potluck at work tomorrow, or should I say today since it's 1am. I just finished making truffles for him to take. I must say for the first time making them they turned out pretty good. There isn't much to them but they take time to make. Ben better love me! Oh and they taste good too! Mint chocolate mmmmmm. Well enough about them I'm all chocolated out. Is chocolated a word? lol Anyway lets talk about a bigger problem here. It's December 5th and I don't have one Christmas gift bought. Yes that's right I Christmas shop like a man. I was doing an estimated cost today and I'm up to 450.00. That's not everyone either. I still have Ben and Hayden after that! Someone help me!

Oh and the big news in Fredericton today. We Got Snow!

Got home at......6 AM

2006-12-03T12:11:00.000-04:00

I gave going out a try last night. It was the first time since I had Hayden that I went to a bar and I had a blast. Jen, Lisa, Rachel and I went to Colin and Amy's first to drink and meet up with people then we headed out. No one wanted to go to Sweetwaters so we went to the 20/20. lol Getting old much. I had a blast I think everyone else did to. Anyway we only got home at 6 how crazy is that. I will try to get pics

Our Christmas tree is up and looking Charlie Brownish. The tree looks good it's the ornaments that have the personality. I like, it's really unique. I just have to get Hayden's first Christmas ornament.

Lost...One lonely scarf....

2006-12-01T20:50:00.000-04:00

If you are the owner of this scarf, please come get it. Scarf is very lonely and I have no clue who left it at my house. Scarf would like to go home.

We got our Christmas tree tonight and I think it's a really good one! I will take before and after pics. I love decorating my tree. I love putting all my unique and funny ornaments and making it look so funny it's beautiful. I find Christmas tree that are all in one color or have themes are nice but they have no personality to them. Anyway nothing much more. I am missing Chloe. It's crazy how much I miss her.

I've learned....

2006-12-01T02:03:00.000-04:00

That life is tough, but I'm tougher. It just takes time.

Last Day With Chloe....

2006-11-29T12:49:00.000-04:00

Today I called the vet to get a refill for Chloe's meds. She really isn't getting better but she eats a little bit after she takes her appetite stimulant. Anyway the doctor today said that with the size of scar tissue they saw it shouldn't be causing this much trouble. He really thinks it's lymphoma (cancer) and suggested we put her down. I asked if there was anything else we could do I would do anything but he said no.

After thinking about it and listening to the vet, Ben and I have decided it's best to put her down. I feel so horrible, I love her so much. Some people might think I'm crazy but Chloe is part of our family. I don't want to do this but I don't want her to suffer any more. She is so skinny and sick.

We got Chloe and Sieko at the same time so I don't know what he is going to do without her. She is such a good cat. Even when she is sick she's still so nice. Uh am I a horrible person? I sure feel like one. Anyway tonight is our night for Chloe she won't eat but we will treat her like a queen.

I love you Chloe :(

I've learned.....
To ignore the facts doesn't always change the facts.

Crazy Facts

2006-11-28T12:58:00.000-04:00

I found this website and the first fact was cool.

While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot. While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I also found a section called life lessons on there so I'm going to try to post one everyday. If you have a life lesson let me know I will post it. No names needed. It fits since my blog is called Life Lessons.

I've learned......
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. This is very true. I've learned so much just from getting older. I can't imagine what a 70 year old would know.

Santa Clause Parade

2006-11-26T10:09:00.000-04:00

I figured I would try going out in public again and see how it went. lol Last night we went to the Santa Clause Parade. It was really good this year, well I'm comparing to years past. Hayden liked it. I thought he might cry because it was loud but he didn't. He looked at all the lights and people. It was hard to get pics but I have a few of us. Oh and I have a new pic of Hayden too. Howie

Lisa & Jen

Ben & I

Hayden all snugly

Second pic of Hayden

Why do I bother.....

2006-11-22T09:34:00.000-04:00

So I am done trying to enjoy my life. I figure someone is out to get me. Don't get me wrong I'm not starving or homeless but someone wants me to be miserable. I was so excited for Guns N' Roses. I haven't been to a good concert and needed some time away not to mention it was a great gift for Ben. Anyway yeah great night.

Ben and I are like 5 rows from the front. We only headed up there just before GNR was to start. We are having a good time I had a few drinks but was no where near out of it. So anyway I'm standing there and I start to sweat really bad. Then my head starts to spin. I know this feeling so I tell Ben we need to get out of the crowd. Yeah I didn't make it out I guess. The next thing I know I'm being kicked out by some a**hole of a security gard. According to Ben I passed out just as I was getting out of the crowd. And two more times after that. I don't know I was spaced. As soon as the fresh air hit me I was fine but guess what, I was kicked out of the f****ing concert! I told Ben to go back in but I guess he didn't mind he wanted to sleep. So I'm done. Anyone needs me I'm hibernating.

Guns N' Roses Today!

2006-11-21T12:14:00.000-04:00

Today we are heading to the G N' R concert in SJ. I'm excited but not as excited as I should be. I think everything that is happening with Chloe and my Uncle is getting to me. In any case I am going to go and have fun. Hayden is with a very good babysitter. It's funny I really don't know Amy that well but just by what I saw of her and her daughter and the way she held Hayden one day, I trust her. I'm going to buy a disposable camera for the concert because I don't trust myself to bring the digital. So there will be pics just not good ones.

Update on Chloe. So I couldn't just put her to sleep without giving her one more chance. Yesterday I took her to get a scope done. There was no object in her esophagus but there was scare tissue. The vet said with some meds she should recover. Yay. Then later when I went to pick her up the vet was like "we believe she may have Lymphoma" (tissue cancer) Great. Anyway she thinks that because after she woke up one of her pupils was bigger then the other. She said it's Lymphoma or just a side effect of the Anastasia. Long story short we wait and see. I have to force feed her meds and food to her. This is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. I cry every time I half to do it because she is so weak. If the meds don't start working soon I have to put her down for her own sake.

Relaxing Saturday again...Am I getting old?

2006-11-18T20:04:00.000-04:00

Everyone is going out tonight for Lisa's birthday. I could have gone but it's hard having a hang over and dealing with a baby. Ben could watch him tonight but has to work in the morning. It seems I'm going out less and less. Oh well I guess that's what I have to give up for Hayden.

I'm going to post our family pic on here. I really don't like it but some want to see it. Chloe is not doing good with the liquid diet. If things keep up we will have to put her down Monday. I'm not looking forward to it.

Tuesday is Guns N' Roses! I'm so excited. Tod's family owns PD in SJ so he is booking the party room for us and we get free food and drinks! Thanks Tod! Well that's all for now I guess. I'm spending the night watching The Break UP with Ben.

Photos are in and Chloe is still with us....

2006-11-17T17:18:00.000-04:00

So we went and picked up the photos today. They turned out cute but I think they gave us the wrong one of Hayden. Oh well the one we got is still cute. We had a hard time getting him to smile. He was such a sober suds. Our family one turned out OK but not good enough that I want to post it on here that's for sure.

We took Chloe to the vet today. All her blood work came back good. The vet tried to put a tube down her to feed her but it would only go so far. So the doc thinks she swallowed something and it's stuck there or she swallowed something and it scratched her esophagus and left scar tissue. Either way we have to feed her a liquid diet. So far she hasn't eaten anything. We spent $160.00 on her today and if they have to put a scope down her throat that is going to cost over $200.00. Even with the scope the vet said they still might not be able to help her. We just can't do it. We are going to give her the weekend and try to feed her. After that I don't know. I don't want her to suffer. I think I might make a plea to the SPCA. I would rather give her away and get her better then have to put her down.

Prayers for Chloe

2006-11-16T23:50:00.000-04:00

So for the last little bit our cat Chloe has been loosing weight. Until recently that was a worry but we thought it was because she wasn't getting enough attention because of Hayden. She eats and drinks. So we paid more attention to her. Unfortunately that didn't work and now she is really skinny and keeps licking her lips. It's really weird. Anyway we are taking her to the vet tomorrow and I'm preparing myself for the worst. It seems like she is in rough shape and we can't spend a lot of money on her. I hope it's nothing, but the last time we thought it was nothing we spent $1200.00 on a cat and that was cut in half from the original bill. We can't do that again. We will see I guess.

Home Sweet Home

2006-11-15T23:25:00.000-04:00

Well we made it back from good old Lorne. It was a good visit. Hayden got to see lots of people. Unfortunately not many from the LaPointe side. I did get to see the people I intended to visit so that was good. My family must have thought Hayden was going to freeze to death because those wood and oil stoves were just a pumping. I'm sure we both lost 5 lbs when we where there. Two of my cousins are expecting one is two months along and the other is expecting twins in march. Good luck to you both it's a lot of work but well worth it. Well nothing really to write about I have to get to be because we are getting pictures done tomorrow. I guess they get them back to you the next day to so that's good. Anyway below are some pics of my visit. Warning people in the following photos may appear to be very down to earth and care free. This is my aunt Georgette and uncle Teedle. My uncle George (twin to Georgette) My grandmother named her two sets of twins George & Georgette and Paul & Pauline hehehe.My uncle Jules. These are my grandparents Leonard and Julian LaPointe. Hayden loves the cash flow.

This is Hayden just before bed. God I love that child.

Mom is here....

2006-11-10T19:12:00.000-04:00

My mom called today and said "I'm coming down". So it was a surprise visit but it was good since she hasn't seen Hayden in two months. It's hard to get to see her cause traveling with Hayden is a bit much. Anyway she is here until Sunday. Hayden sometimes is frightened when strange people pick him up so I was worried. To my surprise he loved her. I haven't even gotten him to laugh that much. I think I'm going to go back up with her until Wed. It will give me a chance to see my uncle. Oh and the best part is she brought me bottled clams. lol It must sound gross to most people but myself and lots of people from the North Shore love them. mmmmm bottled clams. They look gross but taste soooo gooooood.

Sad but beautiful

2006-11-09T23:40:00.000-04:00

I'd never thought I would hear myself refer to a funeral as beautiful but it was. Mike's funeral was today and I was so proud of his mom. If that would have been me I would be in pieces. Her faith kept her strong, knowing Mike did what he loved and is at peace now. This was the first funeral I went to that had native culture to it. I really didn't know what to expect. I have to say it was beautiful. There was an older gentleman that went up to sing a hero song (I hope I got that right) and an eagle song. It went so well and was so calming. The only thing that I didn't like was the gun salute. I know it's out of respect for him but it scared the poop out of me. (I didn't know they were going to do it). All I could think of was man that was scary and he died hearing that. uh Anyway I don't know how but I think this funeral changed me......for the better.

New Music!

2006-11-09T11:54:00.000-04:00

I have nothing else to write about so I will write about my new music. I found a cool player on Sabrina's site and decided to try it out. You can upload the songs you want from your computer. (So much easier then searching for them) Then it gives you a URL to add to the HTML. So I put a mix of some new songs on here. If you want to get one just go all the way to the bottom of my blog and click the link. It's easy, takes a bit of time but easy. Well that's all for now. I have a funeral to go to then groceries.

Craft Day!

2006-11-07T20:27:00.000-04:00

Today Ben and I spent the day making Christmas crafts. I had some left over plaster strips from my belly cast. I got the idea to use balloons as a base and put plaster on them. Ben made a Santa and I made an ornament and a snowman. So away we went to stacking and shaping. I took some pictures of the process. Now we wait to paint them. It was lots of fun. Messy but fun. I will post pics when they are done.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

2006-11-06T16:54:00.000-04:00

So this morning we woke up to SNOW! How can something so beautiful be hated so much. Anyway Hayden and I decided to go for a walk and who did we spy in the back yard....Frosty the Snowman himself. Yes I couldn't believe it. I thought frosty only came out in lots of snow. Maybe this means more is coming.

In Loving Memory

2006-11-06T10:30:00.000-04:00

Well I got the shock of my life this morning. I am watching the news and they are talking about a US soldier killed in Iraq. It's funny because I almost didn't look then....There he was Michael Seeley. I couldn't believe it. I went to school with Mike and took the bus every day with him. Mike was a great guy. He didn't judge and was so easy going. I know he made me laugh on more then one occasion. I know Mike believed in the war. I just have a hard time believing that so many lives need to be lost because of this. If every life lost is as great as Michael Seeley then the world is in a sad state. He looks so serious in this picture and that wasn't Mike or at least the one I knew. My prayers and love are with his family I can't imagine what they are going through. God bless you Mike and God bless all the other lives lost.

Growing so fast

2006-11-04T23:30:00.000-04:00

I looked at Hayden tonight and couldn't believe how big he has gotten. He is going to be three months old in 4 days. He is going up to fast. Jen was looking through his cloths tonight and he has already out grown so much and is fitting into his big boy clothes. Anyway I guess I'm going to take time to stop and smell him everyday. lol I'm like an animal that knows the smell of her babies. Being a mom is great. I find myself staring at Hayden and thinking that he is my little miracle. A mothers love is almost to big for me to handle. If your not a parent yet I can't wait for you to know what I'm talking about. If you are a parent you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Deal or no Deal?

2006-11-01T13:23:00.000-04:00

Today I submitted an application for Deal or No Deal Canada. Am I crazy? Maybe. The way I see it is if I have a chance to win money and get my debts paid and family settled why not try. So all we do now is wait.

There is really not much going on today. Julie is flying in from South Korea today. She has been there for a year teaching. We are all excited to see her. Brent is having a welcome back party for her on Friday but I doubt I will be able to go. Having a baby limits so much that you can do. We didn't get very many kids for Halloween. At the most we got twenty. Well that's all for now.

My little Mummy

2006-10-31T18:37:00.000-04:00

Here it is. Hayden looked really cute in his little mummy costume. It took me a whole roll of double sided sticky tape but I got it. You can see in one picture he was sleeping when I put most of the suit on him. I tried to put on a head piece but he hates things on his head. After a bit I put the skunk suit on him that Melissa gave us. As you can see it was a little to big and again he hated the hood. Even Chloe got dressed up. Ben's nephew Evan stopped by in his Power Ranger suit. He just turned 5 yesterday. So far we haven't gotten that many kids. What happened to being creative too. Kids show up at the door with a hat on sideways and that's it. When I was a kid it was so much fun to dress up. Now they just come and beg for candy. Oh well I will always dress Hayden up as long as he lets me.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2006-10-31T08:33:00.000-04:00

So this is Hayden's first Halloween. He is so small that I couldn't get a costume to fit him. Well here comes mom to the rescue. I am going to try and make him a costume today. So far I've gotten most of it done I just need to put it together. Wish me good luck and there will be photos to come.

Treasure Hunt

2006-10-29T10:16:00.000-04:00

So I was going to wait a while before I told Ben about the concert but, he has been having a hard time at work lately. So last night I made a treasure hunt for him. I pinned the first clue to Hayden and hid the rest around the house. You should have seen Ben, he was like a kid in a candy store. Finally he found the tickets and a little note letting him know how much I appreciate him. He's so excited. It's been a long time since we have been able to do something with his friends. We both can't wait. Parenting is so much work and can't do much so this is going to be good for us. What is even more exciting is that Julie is coming back home after a year and is coming with us. Can't wait to see you Julie!

SURPRISE!

2006-10-28T15:25:00.000-03:00

Ok so Ben doesn't know yet but I bought us tickets to go see Guns N' Roses. I got the tickets this morning after the market. Well Brent and Dave stood in line for me. (Thanks Guys!) Anyway he thinks that all his friends are going but we can't. HeHeHe I can't wait to tell him. Dave and Amy have agreed to babysit. They are great with kids. Amy is one of the very few I would trust with Hayden. So now I just have to wait to hear back from Ben's work for his schedule. Guns N' Roses have been such a big part of our lives growing up. It's going to be lots of fun because there are so many of us going. I also found out today that Melanie is going. Maybe we could meet up at the concert and rock out together! lol

So I'm trying a new recipe today. It's called Chicken Florentine Risotto with Garlic Parmesan Cream. I saw it on the food network and it looked so good I had to have it. So we will see how it goes.

Worst News Ever!

2006-10-25T16:49:00.000-03:00

Well my heart was broken today. By Shelly Rankin. I guess I will forgive her just because I love her work and really want her to photograph Hayden. She has been so busy lately that there is no way she can fit us in before Christmas. I completely understand why I just love her work and I'm sure so many others do too. So I guess it's off to sears or something. Shelly is really the only professional I would have paid for. Uh oh well I will book her for when he is older and they will be even better when he can give us a big smile.

With that I'm working on a surprise for Ben. Don't want to say what just yet....

New Things Everyday....

2006-10-24T17:55:00.000-03:00

I almost wish I could remember what it was like to be a baby. It would be a new experience everyday just looking around. I wouldn't want to remember the dirty diapers but everything else would be great. The other day I gave Hayden some rice cereal. As you can tell by the picture he didn't like it very much. He still prefers his powdered milk mmmm. Today I put him in his snow suit for the first time. It's starting to get chilly out there so I want him to be warm. Man did he look cute so big and poofy. I love getting to show him new things and teaching him.

Anyway my diet, well took a turn. I discovered that I love to cook. I've been trying new recipes and cooking good meals every night. At least I'm cooking healthy meals. Well except for the banana cheesecake I made the other day. :) I guess I've always liked cooking and baking it's just now it seems I have more time to do it. I even went and bought myself a food processor the other day. I might try making baby food when the time comes. So if you have any good recipes to share pass them on. Tonight I'm making beef stew with cheese biscuits.

SOOOOO SCAAARRRYYYY

2006-10-18T22:39:00.000-03:00

So tonight Jen, Howie, Ben and I carved our pumpkins for Halloween. We always seem to have fun doing them and they look good too. I want to get a small one and carve a soother in it for Hayden later. Anyway so here they are Jen did the scary man in the stairs, I did the Cyclops, Howie did the Devil and Ben's was the Hockey Horror Show. I think we did really well.

I'm Cheating Right Now!

2006-10-17T20:21:00.000-03:00

Yes you got it not only am I eating a chocolate bar but.....It's a Mr. 2Big. I just couldn't settle for a Mr. Big I had to be greedy. Well I must say It's damn good. HeHeHe

Another Wedding

2006-10-13T12:04:00.000-03:00

Well I'm off to another wedding tonight. There have been so many this year. I guess when you get older you see more of them. The way I see it is I'd rather go to a wedding then a funeral. This wedding is a bit different. It's my first same sex wedding. I'm sure there are so many people out there that don't agree with them but I say you only live once and you should be happy. So anyway I didn't weigh myself yet today I'm kinda scared to. Who knows I might have gained. Ben is going to be with the baby by himself most of the day today and it makes me nervous. Not because I don't trust him but because I haven't really left him for that long. We will see how I make out.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE.....

2006-10-08T13:30:00.000-03:00

Ok so it's been one week since I started my diet. I've been walking and only had one cheat day. I've been drinking min 64oz of water a day and.....I've lost 10lbs. Crazy I know I couldn't believe it myself. It feels good and makes me want to keep doing more. I also have to tell myself that it's the first pounds that are going to melt away and it will get harder. For now it just feels damn good. Then there is THANKSGIVING...other than Christmas, every dieters worst nightmare. I WILL SURVIVE!. I'm going to make dessert it's call Apple Spring Rolls. I got the recipe from the take home chef (he's hot!) lol So I hope it turns out good.

Last night I was on my cousin Melissa's blog and she finally got her wedding proofs back from Shelly Rankin. Now this women is amazing at taking photos. She just started out as a hobby photographer then turn pro. I'm am going to get her to do our family pics as soon as I can get my face clear. You have to take a look at her work she is amazing. The wedding pics made me cry.

Surprise Visit

2006-10-07T22:33:00.000-03:00

Well we had a surprise visit tonight from my aunt Debbie, cousin Aaron his gf Lisa and of course my little cousin Brandon. It was good to see them. Aaron and I live in the same city and only started seeing each other lately and I'm lucky if I get to see Debbie once a year. I'm glad they showed up Hayden was having a fit and Debbie knew just how to calm him. It's nice to have a break some times. lol Brandon is sooooo cute. He is twenty months and already knows his ABC's. He like to kiss Hayden too.

Well I ate to much bad food last night at Boston Pizza but it was so good. We didn't end up going to a movie. We all just stayed and our place and played Cranium. It was interesting to say the least. Jennifer Mcgee and Ben won. Today I had to work off all that food so I went for a good walk. I walked from my house to downtown then back. It was a great walk. Hayden and I went to meet Ben for his lunch then walked back on the trail. It was a beautiful day. In all I walked for about two hours. Gosh if that didn't burn off the food I don't know what will.

Beautiful Noises

2006-10-06T10:03:00.000-03:00

I love waking up in the mornings now because I know that Hayden will be there. He has started to smile and make more noises. It's so cute because it seems like he is trying so hard to have a conversation with you. I wish I could post video on here, or at least I don't know how to yet. I took a small one with the camera today.

Anyway Hayden and I went to the doc yesterday. Poor Hayden was bombarded with three needles. I thought I would never get him clam again but he was really good. He now weighs 13.5 lbs. The doc says he is a very healthy boy. As far as myself good bill of health. I have been put on antibiotics to see if it will help clear my face. I don't know what happened with this pregnancy but my body went back to my teenage years. lol to bad my weight wouldn't.

So I'm still eating better than I was. Man not have chocolate is killing me. Tonight Jen, Howie, Ben, Lisa and I are going to Boston Pizza then a movie and I am going to treat myself. Not go over board but just treat myself. I can't wait.

It's Time for a Change

2006-10-02T16:09:00.000-03:00

Ok people today is the day. I need to change the way I eat big time. I need to get rid of this baby weight and more. I want to change so bad but man is my will power crapy. It sure doesn't help either when everyone around me can eat, drink and enjoy everything and not gain a FREAKIN POUND. So today is the day, I weighed myself and will measure myself later. I need to do this and will need every bit of help I can get. If anyone has any tips like healthy meals, exercise music, easy exercise (because I do have a newborn) please let me know. I can do this if I have a little support and reminders every now and then. Jen, I'm sorry but no more junk or eating just whatever. I want to do this but I know myself lol so help me when you can. I'm also giving up some of my bad habits, it's time I grew up and took care of myself. I just have to keep thinking that if I do this and do it right I will be much happier. So it begins, God help me. lol sounds like I'm going to war. What's funny is I am, I'm going to war with myself. Wish me good luck!

Happy Birthday Howie!

2006-09-29T11:31:00.000-03:00

Well I don't have much to update on my own life so I'll take the time to wish Howard Doucet a very happy birthday! Howie will be 27 on Saturday. Getting up there Howie. I hope you have a great birthday and get all the gifts you want. So tonight we are getting together and having a few drinks and Jen's house. Oh Jen is my best friend, Howies girlfriend and Hayden's God Mother. Sorry Jen had to explain. Anyway so tonight I will be getting drunk. I am only getting a six pack because I know that is all I would need. I'm glad it's only going to be a few friends because who knows how I will end up. lol So Ben and I are off to the mall in search of the perfect B-day gift. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow or maybe Sunday (depends how bad I am). Wish me good luck...

A little about Us

2006-09-25T12:32:00.000-03:00

I think I've got this blogging thing figured out. Now for those who don't know us here it is.... Ben and I have been together for almost five years now. It seems to be so much longer. Recently we found out that we would be expecting our first baby. It was a surprise for sure but we were still very happy. On August 8th, 2006 we had a beautiful baby boy and named him Hayden Isaac Marshall Scott. It's a mouthful I know. He weighed 8lbs 14oz and was almost 22". I have experienced many ups and downs in my life but nothing can compare to having Hayden. I could cry every time I think about it. You think you couldn't love any more than the love you have for your family or significant other but just wait. When you hold your child in your arms for the first time and from there on, your heart could explode with love. It also makes you realize how life is a great miracle. Anyway enough of that before I cry lol. And so starts our family and the lessons life will bring to us......

Starting Out

2006-09-25T12:09:00.000-03:00

Hi all. I'm just starting to do this so please be patient with me. I decided to do this since I will be off on maternity for the next year and thought it would be something to do. I also want to share all the events that will be happening with our new bundle of joy Hayden. Well that is all I'm going to write for now. I'm going to post it and see how it goes. I will be back soon....